I may have fallen not a thing called love.

He is perfect.

He has so many things about him that i would never have guessed i would be with. 

But i am. 

And i love it.

I hate people who smoke.

He smokes.

He does it so beautifully..

He has a child.

It may be fate, i do not want to have children. 

I have always wanted to be in a child's life.

And to most girls, nothing is more attractive than a man who takes care of his child.

By himself. 

He has full custody.

I have never been more attracted to someone in my life.

Mentally, physically, any and all ways possible.. he is wonderful.

I love the way he sits.

I love the way he breathes.

I love his laugh, oh so much.

I love him. 

 

She is perfect...

I have met a beautiful human being. She is gorgeous. Her personality is breathtaking and she has a wonderful life.
And I just spent the last week training her on the job I was hoping to get.
And if that wasn't a hard enough kick in the teeth, she had to be the cutest thing ever. By the third day i was so apply she had fallen into this job opportunity. She listened to every word i had to say and she truly cared.
I had never felt the want to be someone else in my entire life. it was a strange feeling for me. i was happy with myself, until i learned all about her.
She just got married to the man of her dreams. They just bought an adorable house and are so happy together its sickening. I want a relationship like that. Someone who has a personality like mine, who wants to do things that I  want to do. Not someone who is always preventing me from doing what i want in life.. They are religious and are so thankful for everything. Happy with all the little things. I want that. I want to feel perfect with someone.
She has a gorgeous smile, beautiful skin color, athletic body. and god damn that personality.. It makes me realize what i deserve in life.

DIY Origami Owl

   So i went to an origami owl party recently and holy hell is it expensive. So of course i found a way around it. I did support my friend and bought 3 charms. $5 a piece doesn't sound bad, but then you realize you want 10 of them because they are cute. It adds up. And don't even get me started on how much the locket things are and c\the necklaces for them!! 

So lets take a trip to one of my favorite places.. Hobby Lobby!!

First pick out your own "locket"

I found this rustic pocket watch designed one at hobby lobby for $6.99.

It is beautiful, just my style. 

I also picket up some trinkets i wanted to put in there myself, even before going to the Origami Party. 

You can put whatever you like in there! Hobby lobby has so much to choose from! ($1.99-$5.99)

I really like skeleton keys and locks, and they go together. Perfect! Also goes with the rustic look of my locket. 

You can even put your origami charms in a tiny glass vile!

Hope i gave you guys some awesome inspiration! Happy Crafting!

-Lauren 

I laugh at all the wrong moments.

Although i love it. I love that i express how I feel. I love being able to laugh at what i think is funny!

At my receptionist job, i hear a lot. A lot of chatter. A lot of gossip!
There are a few dogs that come in with their owners.
One came in today, it was the fattest dog ever. looked like a little pig. It was a very light brown, tight curly hair ya know one of those ugly dogs. poodle or some shit, all the residents were ogling over this dog. One of them commented "its fed healthy" i was on the phone at this time and stopped for a split second trying to stop any laughter that might take control. That is the nicest way someone could say your dog is fat! I thought it was so funny for some reason.

Just a thought..

The best tasting pancakes do not look perfect. 

The best chocochip cookies are not perfectly round. 

Your favorite shirt has a hole. 

The most valued photographs can fade.

Even the smallest of things can break someones heart. 

Even supermodels lipstick smears. 

The brightest of stars can go out. 

Love yourself. 

Love everything around you.. 

Being a receptionist…

    I got this new job at the best retirement community in the state. Front desk. How the fuck. Although i have impressed myself. I was not nervous to talk on the phone. Like when did that happen! The phone rings every 5 seconds, 7 if your lucky. So my training was very broken up. Every time she would start to talk, the phone would ring. And of course they are monitored. So i have to make the conversation as quick as possible so that i wan open the phone for the next call. One phone for hundreds of calls an hour. I am so surprised at the amount of responsibility the god damn receptionist had. Answering all calls that come to a 50,000 sq ft building. Transferring them, and answering the stupidest questions. Selling things to people, having to know where everyone is at, all the times to everything, where and when its happening. Not to mention when the fire alarm goes off.. yea, we have to take care of it. It is mentally exhausting. Very stressful. People get frustrated with you. I hate letting anyone down.
The parts i love about my job, i get a free delicious meal every day. I get free access to the wonderful gym and pool they have. And the residents… most of them are lovely. So caring and sweet. There is one that has won my heart.. She is a blind resident, and knows me by voice. On the day there was suppose to be a snow storm she called just to see if i got to work alright. My heart melted.

    Thursdays and Fridays are the worst. I wanted to cry so bad. The other receptionist told me her first week she cried every day on the way home. I can relate. I searched my brain for excuses to quit. I found one, but need a new job to make it happen.  Im going to say that I'm moving to seattle. I love my job but i wish it wouldn't of been the most busiest place in the whole community to start out with. I want a cubicle that i can decorate. That i can stay in all day and do my work. Not dealing with people face to face. Especially not dealing with money.

Let me fail if thats what i want to do.

    Maybe i don't want to do what everyone wants me to do. Maybe i want to do what makes me happy. Some people don't realize the "one career for the rest of your life" isn't for everyone. Maybe i want to do everything.. And anything, that i am capable of. i want to explore whats out there. Whats for me and whats not. Maybe i don't want to get straight into what i went to collage for. Maybe i don't want to answer all these questions about my life that you shouldn't be asking.

I want to live my life. Don't tell me all the negative things that will go along with any decision i want to make. LET ME FAIL. At least i can say i did what i wanted in life.